sngh
its kind of strange how we once wound up together. the intelligence you lack is quite astonishing. I dont recall one intelligent conversation with you; i thought i could change you; i thought i could cram intelligence into your skull. boy’ was i wrong, i was so wrong. the years of drugs, and the years of no schooling pretty sums you up. some say i talk about you to much. i feel like i do to, mostly because i never got closure. closure from wondering why i subjected myself to you. why i felt like i needed you. you were ignorant, inconsiderate, and a pig; everything i stand against. your beliefs were disgusting. your thoughts were repulsing; and you did disgusting and baffling things to me. but at the time i thought you were all i could get; all i would ever amount to. boy’ was i wrong. there is so much i want to say to you, and i have tried. but your insignificant brain couldn’t wrap around the concepts i was trying to explain to you. it was difficult being with someone who was so illiterate. i look back and feel like utter trash for being with someone like you; how did i ever come think that i couldn’t find better?
it fills my soul with joy, the fact that i have found someone who is really worth my time & love. i feel so special to have found someone who believes what i believe & gives me the love and affection that is essential to my well being. i am so damn grateful that you left me. i am so grateful you flew hundreds of miles to cheat on me. for; if you never left i would have stayed and i would have never found my true soulmate. the person i want to spend every waking moment with, the person who lights up my soul each and everyday.
the time i spent with you was the darkest point of my life. anxiety, fear, & depression. It was disgusting. you filled that time with lies & abusive words.
i know spend my time with someone i can spend hours talking to each and every night. someone who challenges me to do better, and be better. someone who catches me every time i fall; not just once or twice. someone who fills me up with good thoughts, and makes me feel like i mean something each and everyday.
thank you for leaving me and shattering my heart into a million little fucking pieces;
if you would have never left- i would have never found myself.
